Meet the Palins

Verita’s Nihlum Vincet
March 4, 2010

Fresh off one of the dumbest f*#king interviews conducted since that other beauty pageant contestant yammered about maps and such as, Sarah Palin went shopping. That is, she’s shopping around an idea for – wait for it – a reality TV show starring her family about Alaska. Imagine Northern Exposure with less charm and more moose; Heidi Montag as Sarah’s new BFF. Trig Palin will play himself.

While appearing with Leno on the Tonight Show, Palin went the extra yard to show the world that she’s still the most stubbornly ignorant imbecile to ever pretend a thought

studied journalism, my college degree there in communications. And now I am back there wanting to build some trust back in our media. I think the mainstream media is quite broken and I think there needs to be the fairness, the balance in there — that’s why I joined Fox. Fair and balanced, yes. You know because, Jay, those years ago that I studied journalism it was all about the who, what, when, where, and why, it was not so much the opinion interjected in hard news stories. … As long as there is not the opinion under the guise of hard news stories — I think there needs to be clear differentiation.

Leno is a pandering dick. Vapid crap like this – spoon feeding idiocy in the face of imbecilic bullshit – reminds me of why I prefer Letterman. From a whacked out Crispin Glover to a drugged up Farrah Fawcett to a combative Bill O’Reilly, Dave just would never let a guest get away with a twisted claim like, “I joined Fox News because I think the media needs to be more fair and balanced.”

Sarah also complained that she has no opportunity to get the truth out to the people. Speaking about the recent Family Guy / Retard controversy, Sarah whined that a lie can travel half-way around the world before the truth gets its pants on; that because of the nature of today’s mediums (sic), it’s so very difficult for her to get her side of the story – which is, of course, the truth…the real truth…’cause only she knows the real truth – out to the real Americans.
Yeah. Right.
Sarah has no opportunity to appear on Fox News, or to have someone ghost write another Facebook post, or to appear on any – ANY – news program just by showing up.
Having just toured the country flogging a book full of lies that was a thinly veiled…okay, blatant…bit of vengeful revisionist herstory; having just had Fox News construct her very own studio IN HER HOME in Alaska to facilitate her “commentary and analysis”; sucking down $100,000 fees to speak at anything from a Teabagger convention to the College of the Ozarks, poor media victim Sarah Palin has no opportunity to say what’s on her bitter, hallucinating, tiny little mind.

I have an idea how the reality show can end each week. After saying their nightly prayers – “Lord, smite those who think Mommy is stupid” – and climbing into bed, the Palins can call out to one another in the dark like The Waltons:

Good night, Willow.
Night Mommy.
Good night, Track.
Good night, Mother.
‘Night, Piper, night Bristol.
(in unison) Night, Mom.
Good night, Former First Dude.
‘Nighty-night, Trig.
Copyright 2010 Verita’s Nihlum Vincet

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